The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life Review

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on his shoes."

I cannot stand by and let more lies about this book and Dr. Ellis be perpetrated. A "Shopper" from Tucson, Arizona a.k.a. tucsonshopper [review May 10, 2008] has sent lies halfway around the web while the truth is putting on its shoes on. These types of lies like other harsh reviews regarding this book are precisely the either/or black or white thinking that Dr. Ellis defines as neurotic thinking and such reviews often say more about the reviewers than the book, and bespeak a profound misunderstanding of Ellisian theory. Dr. Ellis' book is a nuanced, more objective, account than most books on the subject -- the books concrete people love to hate because this politically charged topic lends itself to the crooked thinking Ellis railed against in his lifetime. Fortunately, sound thinking is in place and the Tusconian is of the minority opinion, giving it a 2 star rating while the majority gave it 5 STAR rating. I will address a few key areas:

1) To refer to Dr. Ellis as a bully (interestingly there is no criticism of his coauthor Marcia Grad Powers - is gender a factor here?) is not only false but a ludicrous depiction of the world's most prolific psychologist, who was named by his peers as the most influential therapist of his time, and the most influential clinician in the history of the psychology in Canada and number two in the United States. Most bullies, or the bully perspective aren't highly respected by their peers. As "richard31416" brilliantly states in his May 11, 2004 review, the book, "In no way implies that there is a "right" or a "privilege" to abuse . . . it is clear from the context and the thrust of the book that the intended meaning is, `my partner, as a separate, free moral agent, is free to abuse me if he so chooses, even though it is wrong and destructive, and it is my job to decide how I will respond, since I can't control his choices or his behavior.'" Like Ellis/Powers' book this is a nuanced review that skirts absolutistic, immature thinking. Not "A Shopper" from Tucson who instead recommends Suzette Elgin's nuance-free title, "You can't say that to me!"

2) The Arizonan goes on to compare Ellis to, "an `antisocial' abuser, borderline, bi-polar, or "closet" narcissist" who is 'remorseless'" Which begs the question how many people with the above attributes dedicates their life to improving the lives of others and society as a whole while giving all the earnings from his books back to the Institute and making $14,000 a year? That does not sound like borderline, bipolar, etc., etc., etc. The "evidence" submitted includes twisting & distorting facts from Ellis' memoirs. The reviewer can twist perceptions but reality won't budge. However, rather than focus on the content of THIS book the reviewer diverts attention to another book, and fails to look the content of this book and try to hack away at his reputation. In fact, precious little in the "review" addresses any of the content the book, but feebly attempts to attack the persona of Ellis.


The rest of the review by Tucsonshopper is too vague to dignify with specifics, but it includes broadly dismissing humanistic psychology (which includes dozens of therapeutic modalities under it's umbrella) as morally relativistic. Quite a statement!

In conclusion, using the reviewer's twisted logic I suggest the following: Readers do yourself a favor, don't read any more of A "Shopper" from Tucson, Arizona a.k.a. tucsonshopper's reviews. I feel her character, based on her other reviews, (rather than the content of her of this one) discredit her validity. Her shoes aren't tied but her mind is, in knots.

Buy it here now!