Please Tell!: A Child's Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps) Review

My baby girl listened, but seemed distant. I pray that the signs I've seen and guessed them to be signs of abuse are wrong. I bought the books to read to my little girl so she will know that she can tell her Dad if Mommy's family is hurting her. I pray not, but will not take any chances, as my Ex's family abused her until she was taken and put into a foster home, and then a girls Home at age 13. She's mentally twisted. I was wrong to think I could help her. It all fell apart when we moved to Kansas to be close to her (what she claimed were the GOOD part of her family), They are NOT.

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The Courage to Heal 4e: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition Review

I read 'The courage to heal' about 15 years ago and at that time it was the only book that I found really helpful for healing from sexual abuse and incest. It was like meeting someone who understood what I had experienced and it was full of helpful ways to cope. The biggest benefit for me was reading other peoples stories and knowing I wasn't alone, I wasn't a freak, these things happened to other people too ..... and they survived. The courage to heal gave me great hope and I dipped into it again and again, when I was feeling wobbly or needed to clarify something. I also reccommended it to some of my friends.

Now 15 years on, I have come out the other side of my healing and I just bought the updated edition of 'The courage to heal'. It has helped me to see not only how far I've come, but how much more information about incest, abuse and its effects is available and how much more the subject is spoken about.

I'd like to thank Ellen Bass and Laura Davis for their courage in writing such a book and all of the women who shared their experiences.I think it's a great credit to them that their book is still so popular 20 years on.
Adrienne.

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The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life Review

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on his shoes."

I cannot stand by and let more lies about this book and Dr. Ellis be perpetrated. A "Shopper" from Tucson, Arizona a.k.a. tucsonshopper [review May 10, 2008] has sent lies halfway around the web while the truth is putting on its shoes on. These types of lies like other harsh reviews regarding this book are precisely the either/or black or white thinking that Dr. Ellis defines as neurotic thinking and such reviews often say more about the reviewers than the book, and bespeak a profound misunderstanding of Ellisian theory. Dr. Ellis' book is a nuanced, more objective, account than most books on the subject -- the books concrete people love to hate because this politically charged topic lends itself to the crooked thinking Ellis railed against in his lifetime. Fortunately, sound thinking is in place and the Tusconian is of the minority opinion, giving it a 2 star rating while the majority gave it 5 STAR rating. I will address a few key areas:

1) To refer to Dr. Ellis as a bully (interestingly there is no criticism of his coauthor Marcia Grad Powers - is gender a factor here?) is not only false but a ludicrous depiction of the world's most prolific psychologist, who was named by his peers as the most influential therapist of his time, and the most influential clinician in the history of the psychology in Canada and number two in the United States. Most bullies, or the bully perspective aren't highly respected by their peers. As "richard31416" brilliantly states in his May 11, 2004 review, the book, "In no way implies that there is a "right" or a "privilege" to abuse . . . it is clear from the context and the thrust of the book that the intended meaning is, `my partner, as a separate, free moral agent, is free to abuse me if he so chooses, even though it is wrong and destructive, and it is my job to decide how I will respond, since I can't control his choices or his behavior.'" Like Ellis/Powers' book this is a nuanced review that skirts absolutistic, immature thinking. Not "A Shopper" from Tucson who instead recommends Suzette Elgin's nuance-free title, "You can't say that to me!"

2) The Arizonan goes on to compare Ellis to, "an `antisocial' abuser, borderline, bi-polar, or "closet" narcissist" who is 'remorseless'" Which begs the question how many people with the above attributes dedicates their life to improving the lives of others and society as a whole while giving all the earnings from his books back to the Institute and making $14,000 a year? That does not sound like borderline, bipolar, etc., etc., etc. The "evidence" submitted includes twisting & distorting facts from Ellis' memoirs. The reviewer can twist perceptions but reality won't budge. However, rather than focus on the content of THIS book the reviewer diverts attention to another book, and fails to look the content of this book and try to hack away at his reputation. In fact, precious little in the "review" addresses any of the content the book, but feebly attempts to attack the persona of Ellis.


The rest of the review by Tucsonshopper is too vague to dignify with specifics, but it includes broadly dismissing humanistic psychology (which includes dozens of therapeutic modalities under it's umbrella) as morally relativistic. Quite a statement!

In conclusion, using the reviewer's twisted logic I suggest the following: Readers do yourself a favor, don't read any more of A "Shopper" from Tucson, Arizona a.k.a. tucsonshopper's reviews. I feel her character, based on her other reviews, (rather than the content of her of this one) discredit her validity. Her shoes aren't tied but her mind is, in knots.

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Sacrilege: Sexual Abuse in the Catholic Church Review

I want to congratulate Dr. Podles for a skillfully written, thoroughly annotated and meticulously edited volume which will serve as a model for investigative texts on any subject.

I am angry that there are dissidents promoting this as the work of a dissident. I believe Dr. Podles' motivation is the bitterness many of us have over the destruction of the church's credibility as a moral arbiter rather than a desire to turn the Catholic Church into a rococo version of the phony 'Metropolitan Community Church' which is the hope of many of the newspaper reporters who write on this topic. While he expresses disagreement with those who maintain that the use of traditional rubrics alone will be sufficient to prevent these scandals, the passages I read most gleefully were those in which he lambastes the likes of the National Catholic Reporter and the pathetic 'New Ways Ministry' for their continued applause for scumbags like Paul Shanley and Rembert Weakland.

My only disagreement is the inclusion of corrective proposals which are careful and measured (which is almost inevitable in a book so carefully crafted) - I say that the time for measured responses to this situation has passed. Their continued intransigence and smugness on these issues can lead me to no conclusion other than that Roger Mahony, George Niederauer, Robert Brom, John McCormack, William Levada, Theodore McCarrick, Harry Flynn, Bernard Law and Thomas O'Brien are SODOMITES who are PLEASED by the molestation of boys by priests as it fulfills their wish for general homosexual recruitment (a substantial percentage of boastful male "gays" and a colossal percentage of homosexual prostitutes had no inclinations toward homosexuality until their adolescent molestation began). The laity needs to rise up and tell any of these punks who still can get their fingers on their money that they will not get one plugged nickel for chanceries, cathedrals, schools or limos until they RESIGN.

(This must be going on in Mahony's lair to some degree as he is now aspiring to have a diocese made up entirely of illegal aliens who he thinks will not complain about him operating a homosexual bordello in a building with the word 'seminary' on its nameplate)

Thank you again Dr. Podles for your service to contemporary literature and your service to the faith.

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Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse Review

Richard Gartner's book, his words, his depth of understanding, his ability to connect with the reader in a safe and compassionate and empowering way, is stunning. It has been like holding up a mirror to our life, to the nuances and difficulties in our marriage, to the rage and shame that my husband has lived with for decades. He has never been able to read a book on this topic until this one - Gartner speaks as though he's speaking directly to the reader. It feels as though he's written this just for you. Read this book if you are a male survivor of sexual abuse - and read it if you are a spouse or partner too. As a spouse trying to understand the complexities of these issues, this book is a life saver. I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you want one single book on this topic, choose this one. I have several others that can't even come close to the precision and insight and simplicity and understanding that exist in these pages. Thank you Richard Gartner for this gift.

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men Review

For weeks after my fiance' returned home drunk one night and began an ordeal that ended with him chasing me down the street as I screamed into the phone to a 911 operator, I wondered what had gone so wrong with my relationship. What had I done? What didn't I do? After reading this book I realized: nothing. It was not me, it was him. It wasn't that I wasn't good enough, or "fun" enough, or sexy enough and there was nothing I could have done that would have made him not cheat on me or not do drugs or any of the other things I blamed myself for.

I truly thank God I found this book. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship.

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The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (Jody Bergsma Collection) Review

I absolutly loved this book!!! As with other readers, I also felt that it was a bit "much" for my 5yr old. I mean, it does say stuff like "a man putting his hands down a little girls panties..." However, even though it is a bit much, I believe that I would rather teach my daughter about these things now rather than end up with her being abused later because she didnt know what was going on. Just telling her to respect her body isnt enough. She needs to know what kinds of things to look out for and needs to be able to recognise that something bad is happening. I found this book to be tasteful and my daughter was attentive to it. I especailly like that this book points out that Mommies and Daddies should be respectful of her body too. So often you see on the news that children have been abused by their own parents. It's terrible. I loved that this book noted that EVERYONE shoudl respect her body and that only SHE has the right to share it. WAY TO GO!!!!!

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